“I am a perfectly functional human being. I walk, I eat and sometimes I talk, when the circumstances require it. I’ve had years of intense role-play to become that girl whose hand you so warily shook once upon a time. I read, I sometimes go to the opera and I call my mother every other night to tell her I’m okay. I do my shopping every Wednesday and my laundry every Saturday. I watch auteur cinema and I rarely catch a cold. I would make a good wife to someone one day, they said. I’m tidy, I’m docile and I’m quite pretty, they said. ‘You’ll do alright’, they said.
I am a perfectly functional human being. I walk, I eat and sometimes I talk. The outside is quite alright, they said. But inside I lie on the floor, fetal position, my knees deep in my chest, my breath exhausted, my eyes vacant. Inside I am possessed by all that which I don’t have, by all that which I have lost, by all that which has deserted me.
I wonder who will take over in the end. From darkness to light or from light to darkness? Who will I be?”
text ©️ Andreea Popa